Friendship vs. Facebook: A More Plugged In, But Less Connected, World

A new study finds that the quality of virtual (online) friendships lacks a number of significant components of real friendship, while new clubs and organizations are emerging to fill the friendship gap in today's ever more anonymous world.

Global citizens of all ages are increasingly moving online to get their friendship fixes. Twitter and Facebook today – the descendants of MySpace and Friendster before them – have become the meccas of 2012 online socializing – Facebook becoming so popular it ranks second in the world in Internet traffic, according to Alexa.com. But a new study shows that the virtual friendships people engage in on websites like these fail to measure up to the ones they have in real life – and that those real-life friendships are becoming harder and harder to find.

According to a study on online versus real-life friendships published in the “Friendship Online” issue of the journal Ethics and Information Technology, virtual friendships – the kinds engaged in and fostered by users of online social networks like Facebook and Twitter – lack a form of interpersonal connection called “non-voluntary self-disclosure” – the kind of revealing of ourselves we do without intending to. Virtual friendships attempt to make up for this with larger amounts of “voluntary self-disclosure” – telling others things about ourselves voluntarily, by, say, posting status updates about what we had for lunch, for instance, or pictures of last weekend’s nightlife debaucheries – but these attempts can’t fully make up for the lack of non-voluntary communication intrinsic in real friendships that virtual friendships miss.

But the type of information disclosed by friends both online and off isn’t the only difference, say researchers. In addition, virtual friendships also lack important social functions, too – such as shared experiences.

“We’ve been surprised by how many people have been excited about the idea of actually meeting high caliber people in an environment conducive to real social sharing and connection-building,” says Chase Dumont, the American cofounder of Bond Social Club, a new social club for expatriates and internationals based in Beijing. “A lot of people are becoming disillusioned with social networking and social media as a means of building connections with people, and they’re looking for something more substantial.”

Bond Social Club’s proposition, and that of other upstart social clubs like it – to put the elites, the socialites, the professionals, and the up-and-comers of a given city all in one place, to meet in the real world and build real friendships and relationships – is one that’s been done before, but is becoming increasingly popular in a world that’s become both increasingly plugged in – and at the same time, increasingly less connected.

“Not everyone has the opportunity to easily meet new people or join communities, or to engage in the large range of activities and/or pleasures offered by actual friendships,” says Johnny Hartz Søraker, Assistant Professor of Philosophy at University Twende, Netherlands, and author of the paper on virtual versus real friendships.

Online social networks tap into the unmet social desires of individuals struggling to meet new people and engage in those socially rewarding activities and pleasures available to those with real-world friends, but the research shows they’re a poor substitute for the actual thing.

As more and more members of Generation Facebook become disillusioned with their virtual friends, expect more and more of them to turn to organizations like Bond Social Club, say the club’s founders – organizations that put real people, hand-picked to be compatible social class and social interest matches, in positions to make real friends and connections.

“The fact is, there’s no substitute for a real connection with a flesh-and-blood human being,” says Dumont. “We see a lot of opportunity in that, and there’s a lot there that the big virtual social networks have missed.”

Bond Social Club was founded in 2012 to provide high caliber individuals a way of meeting and connecting with other likeminded people. The club offers dinners, cocktail parties, sporting events, and other exclusive outings for its hand-selected members in Beijing, China. To apply for membership, please visit the "Apply" page on www.BondSocialClub.com and fill out the membership application form there.

Room 715, East Tower, Van Place, No. 2
South Street of Guandongdian
Chaoyang District, Beijing 100020

This release was published on openPR.